There are some hilarious things about being middle age, and I am not the only one who thinks so.
I know there is some or many comedians out there who have a barrage of ‘you know you are getting old when.....’ jokes.
Here is what I have compiled from other older and wiser writers out there on the www
- you find yourself in a garden centre and actually recognise the names of some plants. (ummm is that an epiphyte over there? oh yes certainly)
- you keep more food than beer in the fridge. (excluding the dude of the house)
- older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
- comfort triumphs over style in the fashion stakes.
- all you want is a quiet night in.
- you choose Fairtrade coffee and organic muesli over pop-tarts and chocolate milk. (sometimes)
- you make sure you're well rested before attending a concert.
- you eat olives from the local farmer's market.
- rather than throwing away old shoes, you keep them in case they come in handy for the garden.
- when at a concert, you tut and sigh because the girl in front has wrapped her backside around her boyfriend's shoulders and you can't see the stage without standing up. And you really don't want to have to stand up.
- you feed your dog natural, holistic dog food instead of leftovers after a visit to McDonald's.
- you have been to more funerals than weddings in a year.
- you start to appreciate egg salad sandwiches (thanks mse).
- you look forward to the hot water bottle at the end of the day.
- you carry tiger balm under your wing.
- you start to critically think you are not getting paid enough for what you do.
- you would dance anywhere any time and don’t care one bit (is this just me?).
- you feel authority not just with your words, but your whole being and realize this is the more sophisticated-teen-thought version with actual facts and gusto behind it; not just a thought with a lot of hot air.
- you realize the people, especially other mamas and women are all super heroines with their own special powers and they feed your own superheroine-ness too.
- you can ponder the existence and connection between every living thing and can feel it in your bones wanting your heart to bust from your chest.
- you could care less about any imperfections about your body (or you have so many that it would be impossible to care about all of them).
- you think of researching life insurance and examine your 401k plan with a finer toothed comb
- things start to make sense and are senseless at the same time
Again I am new to this whole middle age thing. Is middle age is earlier for people who have kids? Does the number of kids contribute to the middle age feeling? Does it matter how old you are when you have kids?
Is there an equation to all of this?
Can someone pour cold water on me and wake me from this dream?
Do people have middle life views that are sunshine and rainbows?
Someone give me more intoxicating mid-life antics please.